Sorrow Has A Human Heart
by Cassandra-chan
Summary: A first person POV from Yami no Malik. He ponders about on how he is darkness and the feeling of sorrow.
1. Chapter 1: Sleeping Sun

A/N: Hello everyone! Cassandra-chan here. Well, this idea came to me when I was listening to a song dodges pointy objects called Sleeping Sun by Nightwish. I head the line "Sorrow has a human heart..." and immediately thought of Mariku (or Yami no Malik if you prefer). Well, this is just a short thing I wrote in American History because I had nothing to do and I really wanted to write this down. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: banishes the disclaimer to the Shadow Realm

Sorrow Has A Human Heart

I turned my eyes to the midnight sky.

This night highly reminded me of the Shadow Realm. According to the calendar this is a new moon, where upon the moon does not keep a watchful eye on the night. The stars in the sky were carefully hidden behind the ebony clouds that blanketed the whole sky. The sea that lay before me was eerily still and made little noise to penetrate through the night. Everything was so dark.

It served a reminder of myself.

Rubbing my hands together for warmth I wrapped my arms around myself and sat down on the damp sand. This chill was highly uncomfortable. It never got this cold in Egypt. But of course, I only know that because I lived inside my hikari.

That is how I was born. From inside my hikari. Somewhere deep inside Malik Isthar I lay waiting and watched every painful thing he had to go through and I felt it because I was those dark thoughts and emotions.

For that I am darkness itself.

It was destiny and fate that I became the world's darkness.

Picking up a smooth pebble I clenched it tightly for a few seconds until I threw it angrily into the ocean.

That is why I hate destiny.

Why must I be the vassal of darkness? Why not someone else? Let them be darkness.

Recently I've realized something that has made me hate the thing I had once prided myself on. Being darkness I have found out the core of it. The emotion that is the strongest. It isn't pain, because first you must feel something in order to feel pain.

Sorrow.

I never could understand it. All of the time I was inside of my hikari I only had the vaguest idea on what sorrow really was. I didn't know because he was the one who really felt it. I thought I knew every painful emotion perfectly, but now I know I'm wrong.

It all started when I, believe it or not, attempted to make "friends" with everyone. Especially with Malik.

But they will not accept me.

They do no want me.

For I am darkness and people fear me. They think I will kill them.

That is when I got my first actual taste of sorrow. I never realized it could hurt so much. I never knew that when salt water leaked from your eyes it hurt so much.

But can the darkness fell pain?

Can it be struck by its own core?

Is the darkness afraid of itself?

Am I afraid of me?

I hate this sorrow. I doesn't feel right. I don't like it all.

So now I wonder if sorrow is the same as darkness or if sorrow is greater than darkness. Which one is it? I may never know.

But as far as I know I am not only the vassal of darkness, but also the bringer of sorrow.

I hate this confusion.

I hate this feeling.

I hate this pain.

I hate this sorrow.

I hate this darkness.

I hate me.

No longer the end. I am continuing on with this.


	2. Chapter 2: Swamped

A/N: Yo. Cassandra-chan here again! Well, after reading some reviews to the beginning, I've decided to continue this. Don't worry, I actually have something to write about. All the chapter titles will be the song title I got inspired to write that chapter for. They are mainly Lacuna Coil and Nightwish songs, so bear with me. I have about six more chapters after this planned.

Disclaimer: I am the rights to Yu-Gi-Oh! I am owned by Cassandra-chan! I love being with her! I am also the rights to the song Swamped by Lacuna Coil! .... Let's stop playing pretend...

Sorrow Has A Human Heart

Chapter Two: Swamped

I know nothing of my hikari.

It's very strange, especially since I am his darkness.

I thought I knew everything about Malik Isthar, since I was there the moment he was born up to when I was allowed to roam as I do now. I saw and heard everything. Every laugh, every yell, every sigh, every sob. I saw all of his pain.

Yet I still don't know everything about him.

Is that possible?

I lived within him for almost all of his life. I saw everything through those lavender Egyptian eyes.

Yet I know nothing.

I know nothing of his thoughts, hopes, or dreams. I ignored them all.

I only know of his despair and nightmares.

Why?

Because I am his darkness.

I gave him those despairs. I gave him those nightmares.

I gave him sorrow.


	3. Chapter 3: Nemo

A/N: Well, here we are with chapter two! This one is a song called Nemo from Nightwish. Go to their webpage at to see the lyrics. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Sorry that chapters two and three are short! I'll try to make them longer.

Disclaimer: Nemo isn't mine, but I can still dream.

Sorrow Has A Human Heart

Chapter Two: Nemo

Is the darkness made of nothing?

Is it only made of pure, ebony nothing?

Am I filled with nothing?

This must be true to some extent. I know it does. It has to be.

I am only my hikari's shadow. Not really a person at all. Just a shell made of darkness bearing his likeness without any real thoughts or memories. Any "memory" in me is not of my past, but Malik's.

None of it is mine.

Mariku. Is that really my name? No, it can't be. It is most likely derived from my hikari's name.

I am a shell that doesn't even have a name.

Nothing inside this shell of mine is real. It is all just shadows. Shadows and nothing more.

That even means I don't really have a heart.

THEN WHAT IS THIS PAIN I FEEL?

Why can't I explain it?

I want to be real! I want memories, thoughts, and hopes and dreams!

Why can't I be real?!

Because...

Because darkness is nothing...

And I am darkness...

I am nothing.


	4. Chapter 4: Feel For You

A/N: Thank you Xina for that lovely review. It was really nice and had a lot of truth to it. Well, this song is from the Nightwish song "Feel For You." Once again, check out for the lyrics. This chapter isn't too much thinking, but it has dialogue for a change. I hope it turned out okay, and it is longer than the other chapters.

Disclaimer: When I become empress of the world my first priority will be getting the rights to every anime and song...

Chapter 4: Feel For You

"Mariku?"

I looked behind me and saw my hikari standing on the sand. He had downcast eyes and wore a thick jacket with a thin scarf around his throat.

Standing slowly from the ground I quirked my lips. Why is it that it is so hard to smile and not make it look like a smirk? It was hard enough with all the thoughts running about in my mind.

"What is it, hikari?"

My voice still did not sound kind.

The teenage boy still wasn't looking at me. Not even when he spoke.

Like I said, people fear the darkness and I am exactly that.

"It's winter. You shouldn't be outside without something warm on."

His voice was also unkind.

"Well, hikair, you shouldn't be out either."

Why can I never make my voice sound caring?!

"Come back to the house," was his short reply.

He may say that, but I knew if he had his way I wouldn't even have my own body or allowed at the house. The only reason he stays is because Isis is always telling her little brother to give me a second chance. Though I know she too holds me in contempt.

My hikari began to walk off. I took quick notice of his fast steps.

"Hikari, why do you leave me?"

"It's cold. I want warmth."

I thought for a second.

"Come here, hikari."

I could see his hesitation, but he slowly turned and walked back to me. He still kept a safe distance.

Despite that I reached my arms out to him and pulled him close to my body, my arms wrapping around his thin waist.

His muscles were getting tense and he squirmed, unsure of what I was doing.

I did not mind too much. I just enjoyed being this close to my hikari.

This is all I want. If I could, I would stay here holding him forever.

I want to tell him for all of eternity what I feel.

"My sweet hikari," I purred softly. "I want to tell you something very important."

"Let me go, Yami."

He seemed desperate to get out of my grasp.

Lowering my mouth to his ear I whispered something into his ear that I knew made his beautiful lavender eyes go wide.

"I love you."

For a few moments no words were spoken or any noises made. Just breathing and the gentle lull of the ocean's waves.

Placing my hands on his shoulders I placed him a little further away, just enough so I could see his face.

His eyes were very wide and his mouth was slightly ajar in surprise. He must not of known what to say.

I knew not how to react to this.

Was he angry? Was he sad? Was he confused?

Did he love me too?

Whatever he felt I did not know.

Bringing my stunned hikari closer to me again I lowered my face to his. I could feel his breath mix in with mine.

At long last I placed my lips on his.

Suddenly my hikari placed his hands on my chest and roughly shoved me way before I could properly kiss him. As I staggered back I saw his face full of anger.

"Hikari? What's wrong?"

"You do not love me!"

What?

What was he talking about?

"Of course I love you, hikari."

"No you don't! You are not capable of love!"

My pulse quickened. My eyes widened.

...Not capable of love?

What did that mean?

"After all that you've to everyone? After all you've done to _me_? Now you say you love me?"

"Hikari, I'm so-"

"NO! No you're not sorry!"

What was he talking about? Of course I was!

"And I do not love you!"

My heart nearly ceased to beat.

Does not love me...?

Why?

WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME?

"Yami, you told me once that you were the darkness. If that is true then you cannot love me."

"But, but hikari, darkness wants and needs love too."

Those lavender eyes narrowed at me. It made me flinch.

"No, Yami. Darkness doesn't need love. Darkness is cold. Darkness is pain, and pain is sorrow."

...Sorrow?

I am sorrow?

"Do you know what the darkness also is, Yami?"

Why was his voice so cold?

"Darkness is nothing. You are darkness. You are nothing.

"Nothing cannot love."


	5. Chapter 5: Angel's Punishment

A/N: Howdy everyone. Well, I have finished the fic, but I'll post it all eventually. There are about three more chapters left. But for now, enjoy this one! The song is from Lacuna Coil this time and you can go to A-Z Lyrics Universe, where you can go and be directed to a site with the lyrics. It's more of the title that inspired me to write this.

Disclaimer: Die you freakin' disclaimer, die...

Sorrow Has A Human Heart

Chapter Five: Angel's Punishment

My hands clenched into tight fists.

Not capable of love?

Pain.

Sorrow.

Darkness...

I am the darkness.

And the darkness is nothing.

But...

"Darkness will do whatever it pleases."

It pleased me to see his scared face. Yes, be afraid my dear hikari. Yes, flinch again! Be afraid!

You will be punished soon enough.

I grin at his pleads for me to release him as I squeeze his arm tightly, nails digging into silken skin, breaking skin, releasing tiny blood gems. They glistened even in the dark, dripping down the skin.

Oh, yes, blood. Beautiful blood. Delicious hikari blood.

I want more!

Forcing his body close to mine I close my mouth down upon his, digging deeper into his mouth with my tongue, enjoying his sweet taste. His body would not stop struggling as I press closer to his body, roughly removing the thick jacket and yanking the scarf off.

Struggle as hard as you please, hikari.

You cannot win in a fight against darkness.

I move my hands from the thin waist and go beneath the fabric and massage the smooth skin. It unpleased me to feel that lovely skin tense up and tighten against my touch.

"Don't worry," I purr into his ear, nipping the ear gently. Heh, he flinches again! "This is just the beginning of your punishment."

He screams to be let go. Music to my ears. He still struggles.

I will not release him. His punishment is not over yet.

Taking hold of his body I lead him to a place I had seen, a hidden cove just beyond a few of the rocks. A place where no one can see us. When we got there I threw his body into the gently lapping waters, he winces at the sharp pain, and then screams some more as I sit on top of him. I silence the scream with my mouth. He shivers at my touch and the freezing waters.

The wet skin seemed to flow between my fingers like silk and his soft, blond hair was like that of an angel's wing. It filled me with so much pleasure and joy to feel him like this. To taste him.

But there was something missing.

Suddenly he broke away from the kiss and shivered, wincing deeply. It didn't take me too long before I noticed tiny wisps of blood floating to the water surface that emerged from fresh cuts along his arms and some from his back. A moment later I saw sharp rocks on the ground beneath him and they inflicted many cuts across the open skin, all across the body. The salt in the water made the wounds burn and sting.

Perfect.

Gripping his shoulders, making the hikari wince at the pressure applied to cuts, I rocked his body against me and the rocks, making him cry out in pain. The tiny wisps of blood changed into long crimson ribbons.

I ran my tongue along the wet arms with a grin, savoring the warm, salty liquids. It tasted better when I kissed along the skin, licking up blood as I went along.

But it wasn't enough. Not even close.

In a quick moment I tore at the shirt's cloth and with my hands I ripped it to shreds. The tanned skin prickled at the rush of cold wind and water and the hikari shivered violently. I just grinned wildly and licked up more of the sweet blood and rubbed my hands across the skin.

BUT IT STILL WASN"T ENOUGH.

Upon reaching the waist and the hem of his jeans I smirked to myself. Of course. There is still more skin to play with.

I smiled in poisoned sweetness as the hikari's eyes burst wide open at the sound of the zipper. He struggled violently and arched his body against mine, trying to get me off.

Foolish hikari.

YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME.

I AM THE DARKNESS.

Before I proceeded to push inside him I whispered quietly with a grin, "My sweet little hikari, my angel. Does it hurt?"

Liquid mists across lavender and falls down tanned skin.

"D-don't do this..."

I make the tears go away with my tongue. He shivers.

"But hikari, I am the darkness and I am pain. I cannot and will not stop."

I smirk.

"Even angels must be punished."


	6. Chapter 6: Whiskey Lullaby

A/N: Yo. Kind of odd, that last chapter. I wrote that during school and had to make sure that no one was looking over my shoulder when I wrote it. Oo''. Anyway, thanks for the review Enjuru! You'll just have to see the ending for yourself, which should be up pretty soon. Three more chapters after this for sure! I don't know when I can update, since I'm busy with school and about five other fanfics.

The song for this week comes from the lovely country song, Whiskey Lullaby. I adore this song so. At first I wasn't going to use it, but something told me I had to and it worked out just fine. It's sung by Brad Paisely and Allisoun Krause.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These things make author's loose all their dignity...

Chapter Six: Whiskey Lullaby

What have I done?

What in the name of Ra have I done?

Lifting the mouth of the bottle to my lips I can feel the liquid run down my throat and it makes my blood run red hot. At my side was another bottle and a few more, only one was empty.

It was only when my hikari had stopped breathing that I had snapped to my senses. It was only then I was truly aware of his body beneath me, covered with wounds inflicted everywhere from me and the rocks, all getting infected with salt. His lavender eyes were shut and his chest had gotten very still.

I was afraid.

Is it possible for darkness to be afraid?

Since I could still feel a pulse I breathed air into his lungs until his chest began to move up and down. Panicking, I covered the boy as quickly as I could and ran as fast as I could to the nearest hospital.

After leaving the proper information and made sure he got help, I left. Isis would take care of him.

Everything else was a blur. I just found myself in this alleyway. Alone with whiskey as my only companion, and even it seemed to mock me.

I hate the way it makes my blood boil. It hurts too much.

I hate it when it slowly begins to overtake me, calming me. I thought I had too many pains for that to happen.

I hate it so much because I can't stop drinking it.

But this burning alcohol with help me. I know it will. It will soothe my mind and I can forget everything.

The bottle is now empty. Why won't it work?

I can still remember.

The shreds of cloth. The scared skin. The ribbons of blood. That fearful look on his face.

The tears.

Another bottle is gone.

WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?

The memory remains and my body is on fire. But I must keep on.

I have to drink away the memory.

...What is this?

My eyes sting. My vision becomes even more blurred, except with water. It's not raining, so why?

Familiar salt water blends with the whiskey.

I hurriedly drink down the bottle. Salt water's still there, even after so many drinks.

My heads starts to spin wildly. The surroundings become a mixed blur, blending together with darkness.

Before I fall to the hard floor I see a face. That fearful, hikari face.

Why can't I forget it?


	7. Chapter 7: Solitude

A/N: Oh, gosh, someone shoot me. I haven't updated in forever! The worst part being that I actually have the story completed!!!!!!!!! I suck...... On with the fic! The song is Solitude from Evanescence, more inspired from the title.

Chapter Seven: Solitude

My reflection is mocking me. Constantly mocking me.

It loves to remind me of the face that I ran away from. The one who I long for. The one who I still long for. The one I can never have in a million years.

As I stare into the reflection I wrap my arms around myself for warmth. I am truly alone. I have not yet returned to my hikari, but I am always worrying if he is all right. Through our link I can tell that he is alive, but I do not know if he is healed. I wish I could speak to him, but I am afraid to.

I don't even have to ask myself if he will accept me again. After what I've done to him, who would? I guess I've known that for a long time now.

But this isn't so bad. Being alone. I have no one to scorn me, no one to hurt me. I have no one. Just the shadows.

That and my reflection. This awful, twisted reflection.

Yes, solitude is horrible. Like I said, there is no one. No one to hold my hand or body, no one to dry my tears. No one to comfort me and help me forget my thoughts.

Wait.

There is one thing that will help me forget.

I shudder at the thought. It is a dreadful idea, but I must go through with it. In my plan, I will forget everything. Every pain, every sorrow, every dark thought. EVERYTHING. All that misery will be set aside for good. And it will be better than the whiskey.

But for now I wait. Wait here in the shadows of myself, rotting away in this fiendish solitude. With not a soul beside.

Just me and my shadow.


	8. Chapter 8: Whisper

A/N: Oh gosh, I haven't updated in two months or so… And I haven't even been busy! I really, really stink. Oh well. This is the second to the last chapter. I might update tomorrow with the last one. Thankies for the reviews!

The song comes from Evanescence. I wanted to use it for the last chapter, but the next chapter song was more fitting so I turned it into chapter eight.

Chapter Eight: Whisper

My plan has now started. There is no where to run and no way to back out now.

The rod of gold was not difficult to steal from little Yugi. Not even his dark half could stop me. At least I can go through with this knowing that the pharaoh is out of the way for good. Too bad I couldn't get the thief too.

Under the moonlight the gold glints and shines, smiling evilly. My lips twitch into a smile to meet it, but this one is not cruel. I keep trying, but it doesn't work.

I look up and see the perfect night. Dark clouds swirl high above me and only the glowing full moon shines through in a perfect circle. The waves on the ocean are noisier and crash against the shore's boulders. They bang wildly, but do not disturb the serenity.

It's all so perfect.

I close my eyes and spread out my arms, letting the cold wind blow on my face and bare arms. The water gently lapped at my bare toes and the moist sand crept between my toes. Even if my eyes were closed I could feel the sweet moonbeams kissing my skin. The rod in my hand feels heavy, so unlike before. The metal is cold against my skin and sends a shiver up my spine. Oh well. Even perfection has its flaws.

"It all ends here," are the words I utter as I try to smile. It hurts too much. Even more than the whiskey.

"Yami?"

My heart stops. Looks like perfection has two flaws.

Dear Ra, no.

Slowly turning around I open my eyes and see my hikari. The omote didn't look different, even if a year had passed. He wasn't wearing a jacket, even if it was freezing. Without anything to cover his arms I could see the scars had healed. Was it possible that his mind healed?

To me, none of that mattered. I had longed to see him, and now he stood in front of my eyes.

Pain clutched my chest.

No, there is no way I can see him. Not tonight.

"Yami, is that really you?"

Malik Ishtar, standing right in front of me. And he _cared_. I could tell by the heavy emotion woven in his voice. He _cared_…

Unable to answer the hikari I turn to face the ocean again. Even if I was staring at the water's surface, I could still see his lavender eyes piercing into my own indigo orbs. I can hear him quietly shuffle across the sand as he came close, asking, "Where have you been all this time?"

I expected the slight awe in his voice, even if he hated me, any person would be amazed to see someone after a year without any notice. But concern? Sadness? Longing? Did those emotions even _exist_ when he spoke them?

"My beautiful hikari, you should not be out. It's cold."

Why was my voice sounding funny? It was… strained, and choked. It was almost as if I could even speak at all.

"Yami, tell me what's wrong. Why did you leave?"

Pleading. Not the kind that tells you to stop, but the kind that is longing.

But the foolish boy should know. He knows perfectly why I left. The invisible scars on his arms should be enough.

"Go away."

My eyes looked down.

"I do not want to see you."

A lump rises in my throat. The lies I spoke were choked out. The emotions in me kept building up and it nearly made me cry out. What was wrong with me?

"I was worried."

…

…

…He was worried?

No… that can't be right. My hikari hates me! **HE HATES ME**! No, why is he worrying?

The weight of a hand is placed on my shoulder. His fingertips barely touch the skin of my shoulders. Yet that is enough to my body tremble and a cry is barely choked back. Without thinking I take his hand with one of mine, back still to him. I press it against my cheek, savoring the warmth. My light can even melt the darkness with a simple touch…

Something cold fell on my cheek. The same feeling continued to dapple my skin and I look up. Tiny snowflakes drift down and fall from the sky to the earth, onto the sands and waves. It falls onto our bodies, causing the skin to prickle, and melting into small droplets of water onto our skin, but soon disappear.

Perfection has corrected itself. It had presented to me this perfect moment.

"Hikari?"

He leans against me, head on my back. His warmth surprises me.

"Yes, Yami?"

He makes this harder. Why does he make it harder?

"Who am I?"

Through our link, repaired by our unusual closeness, I could feel confusion rise. To him, or to anyone, the question would be answered with a name. A name that belongs to shadows. And he answered just as I thought he would.

"You are my Yami."

I feel a smirk twitch at my lips. Yes, I am his dark half.

"Sweet hikari, I am much more than that."

Fear rises in the link. More confusion. Mostly fear. Emotions that I knew would only be raised.

I higher my eyes to the sky. Tiny flakes of snow keep falling, dancing in front of my vision. The moon has wisps of cloud swirling in front of it, but it is still clear. There was no way to avoid my hikari anymore. He must be told, no matter what happens.

"Yes sweet hikari. I am your darkness. But I am much more than that. I am the darkness. I am bitter emotions that rest inside every human being that has lived for even a single moment in history. I am all their pain. I am sorrow."

His strong hand tenses on my shoulder and his head lifts up from my back. I can feel him shake against my body. Fear rises.

"Sweet hikari, while I too may bleed like you and everyone else, I am not human. I am the scion of darkness, born of your hatred. Yet the false heart beating in my chest yearns for things. I want the emotions the darkness is a stranger to. I want them. I _need_ them. I need it so bad it hurts."

His grip tightens slightly. I can feel eyes burning into the back of my head. I can feel something strange in the link. Something I don't know. A feeling of… pity? What is that?

"Yami, you can have those things too."

I give out a mirthless laugh. Does he really think that? If I could get those things, I wouldn't have this plan.

"Foolish hikari. I can't. You do not realize that this is impossible. It will remain that way until I am no longer the darkness and these longings stop. That too is impossible. But, despite that, I have indeed found a way to forget these things."

It is then that hikari that quick notice of the Sennen Rod in my hand. His breath catches and I know that his eyes are widening. His squeezes my hand tightly.

"Yami…" he whispers softly, "what are you planning to do?"

Removing my hand from his grip I walk forward into the freezing waters. It laps around my legs, chilling me. I stare up at the moon and falling snow. It takes many moments until I tell him:

"I am going to join the shadows."


	9. Chapter 9: End of All Hope

A/N: I'm here! Updating in less than a week! I feel so proud of myself. Thankies for the review OBSSESSED Uber Rei Model 07 and Hiro. P. I feel really flattered. Have a cookie. Yeah, in the last chapter, he did kill Yami. It was a brief mention, but yeah. Sob.

This chapter is from the Nightwish song, off of the CD Century Child, "End of All Hope." So yes peoples, this is the last chapter. I would like to thank all of my reviewers, thanks a bunch guys. I love you! Have cookies.

Chapter Nine: End of all Hope

I raise the Sennen Rod above my head. I close my eyes and summon forth the energy within me, the power of the shadows, to do the final task I ask them to do. The energy pulls from within and forms all around my form.

The wispy shadows are meager at first but then they grow. They grow to thick ribbons, to full clouds, and then a wall. The vision in front of me is nothing but shadows. I didn't even look at the moon for a final time. It is with a heavy heart that I realize that.

The walls of darkness surround my environment, and even hikari is consumed. His shaking voice demands to know what is going on. He asks again and again, pleading for me to answer. Over and over he asks. And still I give no answer. The answer is clear enough.

The water around my ankles becomes increasing cold, so cold it feels like mind numbing ice. My skin shivers and the skin is prickling, raising the hairs on the back of my neck. Whatever warmth left in the air has vanished completely, and I cannot even sense the body heat emitting from the frightened hikari.

I slowly turn to face him, shivering, but smiling still. He needs to know that I am not afraid of what I am about to go through. I try to tell him that, those words, but my voice is choked and high pitched. I can barely quirk my lips anymore. The dark shadows clench at my throat, not allowing me to speak anymore. Even through my clothing I feel exposed, naked to all the darkness in the world.

He crosses to me, slowly and trembling. Tears stream down his face, misting over lavender eyes. It is no surprise to me that they are full of fear, like all the times that he has looked at me. He shakily asks the same question, a silent plea of worry.

Sweet, beautiful, glorious hikari. Such a pure light should not be polluted with darkness. It never should have to have been the carrier of a darkness that he never deserved.

Why can there be no other way? Any way. If there was some way to escape I would. Some way to run away, to be with my light. To have everything I longed for. I want it so bad.

My eyes widen. My heart beats fast.

Hikari was holding me. Holding me. His arms wrapped around me, pressing me close. His face buried into my shoulder, fingers digging into my skin. In this darkness, I could feel his warmth. I feel his light.

Hikari looks up, painful lavender eyes, and brushes warm fingertips across my cheek. He doesn't even flinch at the cold. It was then I realized tears were on my own face too. They streamed down faster than his, uncontrollable and unable to stop.

I desire to hold him. I need to hold him. If I don't hold him all will be lost. I will be lost in the darkness I called my own, lost in the abyss. Drifting in the oblivion.

No.

I won't.

Darkness will not allow this. Darkness cannot have happy endings. It will never be happy. And if darkness cannot, then I cannot. I may have a human heart, but it will never mean I am human. I am darkness. I am sorrow. I am pain. I am hatred. I am nothing.

Hands gripping at his shoulders, I shove him away from me. I didn't even feel the last of his warmth at my fingertips. As he falls back, the shadows rush to my body, wrapping around my body. They entwine onto every muscle, every fiber.

Hikari begins to shout. He screams. He cries.

Goodbye hikari, I say with my eyes.

Shadows wrap up my body.

He stands, knees almost knocking together. He can barely shout anymore. He can only watch. So sorry hikari.

Shadows wrap around my legs, around my arms.

It gathers around my chest, tightly pulling so I cannot breathe. My body numbs. I can't feel anything but the frozen shadows. They become my chains as the portal opens, dragging me in. I can't fight against it.

Up my face the shadows go. They cover tears, make the tears go away.

Hikari is getting farther away. So far away. He stands alone, crying. I can no longer reach out to him, not for all the miracles in the world. No prayer is strong enough to save me.

Shadows crawl up my face.

He is disappearing. The portal is closing. Slowly, very slowly.

All I see is him. I see his eyes, veiled over with sadness and tears. I see his face, still so beautiful.

Shadows curtain my eyes.

Hikari is gone. Never to be seen again.

The portal is closed and I am tossed into the oblivion. The realm of darkness, where every dark feeling is contained. And I can feel it all. All of them. Every one. All of them at its strongest point.

This is my punishment, my sentence for being the darkness of an innocent light. For being born.

This is my home now.

The rest is silence.


End file.
